The truth about truth

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From a young age we are taught to be truthful. To tell a lie is naughty and the wrong thing to do. Telling the truth, on the other hand, is always the right thing to do.

Let’s take a moment to think about that. Is telling the truth always the right thing?

What if telling the truth hurts someone else’s feelings?

Think about someone you care about, let’s say your Mum. She gets a haircut and is delighted with her new look. She is beaming from ear to ear with confidence and happiness. You think to yourself “wow, I haven’t seen Mum look so happy in a long time”. You also think her haircut is awful and that it doesn’t suit her at all. When she asks your opinion, do you tell her the truth, or do you embrace her delight?

The truth about truth is that it is different for everyone.

Acknowledging this and handling the truth with sensitivity opens your conscious mind to deliver your truth graciously and with tact.

Some may describe this as bending the truth, or telling a white lie. Others may see the benefits in protecting people from hurtful truths.

I faced a challenging situation with my brother Sean who suffered from paranoid schizophrenia. He believed the many voices in his head and they controlled much of the latter years of his life. He confided in me the fears that he faced and asked for my help. I could have chosen to dismiss the voices and tell him they weren’t real. Yet what good would that do? His voices wouldn’t just disappear because my truth was that they weren’t real. Instead, I chose to listen to Sean and hear his truth – what the voices were saying to him. I created a safe place for him to talk and share openly. I accepted that his truth and mine were different. Together, we tried to fight the voices. I will never regret that decision to embrace his truth. I am proud to say that I supported Sean in the best way I knew how.

So where do you draw the line? That is a moral question that only you can answer for you. The purpose here is to decide how much and in which form the truth should be bestowed upon someone else to enhance their understanding with minimal negative impact.

There is a great children’s book written by Matt Haig called ‘The Truth Pixie’ which explains this concept in a simple language (it’s perfect for adults too!).